I HAVE... programmed a calculator in math class studied a language on my own always hated mainstream dated a geek married a geek done homework that wasn’t required done homework for somebody else looked forward to dissecting a frog, pig, etc. looked forward to doing my taxes attended public academic lectures on my own studied an artificial language (such as Klingon) created an artificial language filed the Census as my persona worn 2+ watches at the same time to keep track of multiple time zones named a pet after a scientist or inventor after a gaming, literary, or B-movie character after a mythological being after a technical term a Ph.D. a perfect attendance record in high school in college taken notes in more than one color thought I could win a quiz show corrected a professor in class corrected a salesperson on technical specs corrected a supervisor on spelling or grammar written a letter to the editor written fan fiction written hypertext fiction written for a webzine created a webzine indexed and catalogued any personal collection a subscription to a sci-fi or computer magazine an anthropological or history magazine a nature or science magazine a financial or literary magazine to a games or gaming magazine solved a Rubik’s cube solved an entire 500+ piece puzzle
I HAVE BEEN... Geek of the Year in A/V club a theater techie to a gamecon to another con host at any con game master a computer lab monitor to a LAN gaming party host at a LAN gaming party in a fan club or on their mailing list "that guy" at a concert in the SCA seriously involved in the SCA Trivial Pursuit winner > 10 times called a geek several times labeled socially inept by your "friends" in "smart" classes on a game show a scout for 10+ years a high school mascot in marching band in show choir to band camp to a math/science camp in the chess club on any sort of academic team in a math competition placed high or won in a science competition placed high or won to museums by my own freewill referred to as Dilbert referred to as Velma dumped at a dance dumped at a Star Trek convention
I HAVE... (2) attended a geek party been really excited about attending a geek party thrown a geek party Beta tested this Geek Test roleplayed 3+ times a week for 12 hours straight (or longer) introduced several people to roleplaying gamed in a tournament and won gone to a party just to play Trivial Pursuit a phone number with GEEK as the last four digits or something equally geeky worn a costume other than for Halloween or a play worked for a Renaissance Faire criticized normality taken the Mensa test joined Mensa talked to plants to help them grow quoted Yoda in conversation or debate, at least semi-seriously gone to the movies alone regularly gone to a movie dressed up like one of the characters alone waited in line 2+ hours for movie tickets waited in line 12+ hours for movie tickets skipped parties to program or repair computers to read or study to talk online because I’m not cool enough to go argued about which "Trek" is the best founded a club of any sort snorted while laughing never turned down a date held an office in the SCA written articles for SCA publications used "authenticity police" in a sentence framed my scroll(s)
I HAVE READ... Douglas Adams Piers Anthony Isaac Asimov Arthur C. Clarke Stephen Hawking Robert Heinlein Robert Jordan H.P. Lovecraft Anne McCaffrey J.R.R. Tolkien any "The Companion to ..." books books based on Star Trek or Star Wars comic books graphic novels fan fiction hypertext fiction The Knowne Worlde Handbook books on math/science outside class books on grammar outside class books on history outside class Russian literature outside class gaming books cover to cover entire calculator manuals entire computer manuals software/computer language books for a reading circle or book club joke/humor books for self-enrichment
I WANT... more Magic the Gathering cards a real lightsaber a date more computers to work for Microsoft to one-up Microsoft to call Microsoft "Microshaft" my own comic book store my own gaming store a yurt Jean Grey Jeff Goldblum 7 of 9 Jean-Luc Picard Scully Mulder Max Guevera (aka X5-452) Scott Bakula Willow or Buffy Legolas or Frodo Leia or Amidala ASIMO more friends more RAM GPS 100-sided dice to take over the world to score well on this test
I BELIEVE... in unicorns and dragons in fairies, trolls or leprechauns in aliens in vampires that I am a vampire in the Force that anything can be fixed Linux is the only worthwhile OS
I ROUTINELY WATCH... X-Files Star Trek Star Trek: The Next Generation Star Trek: Voyager Deep Space 9 Babylon 5 Farscape Buffy the Vampire Slayer MST3K Dexter’s Lab Superhero cartoons (Batman, Superman, etc.) Beat the Geeks Jeopardy Quantum Leap Highlander Junkyard Wars spinoff shows of any of the above documentaries obscure movies foreign films Anime History or Discovery Channel Weather Channel Sci-fi Channel Food or Game Show Network Cartoon Network Tech TV bonus features on DVDs
I HAVE SEEN (2+ times)... Bladerunner Clerks The Dark Crystal The Fly Highlander: the movie The Last Starfighter The Fellowship of the Ring The Two Towers The Matrix Any Monty Python movie The Neverending Story Princess Bride Rocky Horror Picture Show Spaceballs TRON War Games Any Star Trek movie All Star Trek movies The Original Star Wars Trilogy The New Star Wars Trilogy Transformers: the movie Weird Science Any Kung Fu movie made before 1980
I OWN... 5+ of the above movies on DVD 10+ of the above movies on DVD pocket protector Rubik’s cube 2+ Rubik’s cubes more than one slinky four-color pen whole/partial set of figurines multi-sided dice a gaming book a few gaming books a ton of gaming books >1 Steve Jackson game and the expansion packs Most of the MageKnight line DC HeroClix line Marvel HeroClix line Magic the Gathering cards Universal remote control with LCD display 1 or 2 computers 3+ computers a computer currently running on Linux PDA, pager, and cell phone DVD burner Sun, HP, SGI server 2+ DVD players 2+ sound effects CDs art made from color gels a techie black outfit a toy lightsaber a real lightsaber script to any Monty Python film any Star Trek film any Star Wars film rough draft of any of the above several maps and/or globes thermometer that also measures humidity a full set of encyclopedias 2+ dictionaries 2+ calculators > 1 chess set > 1 trivia game > 1 video game console > 1 pre-1985 video game console (before NES) beakers, test tubes or Petrie dishes and use them as cups or dishware an exotic animal an endangered species voltmeter binoculars spyglass telescope microscope magnifying glass laser pointer Intermission
I WANT TO BE (OR HAVE BEEN)... a wizard a superhero a physicist a historian an economist a librarian a meteorologist an astronomer a vampire a professional sound techie a professional lighting techie
I LIKE TO... play with numbers play with words/sounds play with hazardous chemicals make documentaries read on Friday or Saturday nights go to the library browse the dictionary to learn new words browse the Geek webring do logic games put together puzzles help people with their finances turn on my computer first thing in the morning use 1024x768 or higher use 1280x1024 or higher program roleplay buy DVDs for their bonus materials buy used game consoles buy used video games buy used electronics work mathematical problems work chemical formulas do physics in my head tinker with electronics shop at Radio Shack make people think I’m weird play with Lego listen to NPR or AM radio watch public access TV listen to audiobooks (Books on Tape®) learn on my own
I PLAY... Steve Jackson games Warhammer Call of Cthulhu chess word games (like boggle, scrabble, crosswords) games on my PDA trivia games games that have received a Mensa award solitaire games 5+ times a week They Might Be Giants Devo Weird Al Yankovic Dr. Demento Man or Astroman Ween Weezer books on tape or CD show tunes cartoon soundtracks music that nobody else listens to, ever no sports the accordion more than one musical instrument computer strategy games Fantasy Baseball, Football, etc. games via the internet an excessive amount of computer games Risk all the way to the end
I WEAR... glasses that I have repaired myself software company t-shirts computer-humor t-shirts computer-related ties, underwear, etc. comic book-related ties, underwear, etc. shirts that proclaim geekhood Star Wars t-shirts only black t-shirts short sleeve dress shirts (men only) a fanny pack ugly or vintage clothing as little brand name clothing as possible my shirt tucked into my underwear Spock Ears permanently due to plastic surgery Vampire teeth permanently due to cosmetic dentistry hi-tops a digital watch day-of-the-week underwear suspenders
I COLLECT... comic books superhero paraphernalia spoons calculators vintage computers bugs trains pins snow globes neat-looking rocks stamps coins dirt
I HAVE... (3) cracked software hacked into another computer system had long Mac vs. PC debates created an operating system Beta tested software applications Beta tested games corrected Intel on hardware specs altered registry files used Usenet or IRC created a newsgroup a hard drive dedicated to mp3s written shareware written a regular expression parser followed comic strips online a computer at home with no cover on it designed a robot built a robot built a go-cart built a computer built my own network of computers designed a nuclear device of some sort built a nuclear device of some sort plotted world domination (to some extent) destroyed things just to see how they work played Final Fantasy defeated Final Fantasy defeated all Final Fantasy games played video/computer games for 12+ hours straight created a website before 1996 submitted my personal website to search engines owned a personal domain before 1996 been on a listserv created a listserv more than 3 e-mail addresses more than 3 screen names dated someone over the internet married someone I met over the internet exaggerated on this test to score better flat out lied on this test to score better
I KNOW... C++ UNIX Lisp, Ada, CGI scripting, Pascal, or Delphi Java BASIC ASCII HTML and/or JavaScript l337 sp33k Latin what http:// stands for what dpi stands for what E=mc^2 means the three laws of robotics and who invented them Clarke’s Third Law how to set a telescope in polar alignment the value of pi (to 10 digits) more people online than in real life who H.P. Lovecraft is that Aol is the Spawn of Satan that Bill Gates is both God and Satan how to use special functions on a scientific calculator chemical symbols for 10+ elements the difference between speed and velocity the names of 3 temperature scales and the H2O freezing/boiling points of each the difference between nuclear fission and fusion and can explain it in detail how to count in hexadecimal the difference between octal and octane what RAM and ROM stand for who created MSDOS who first implemented windows on their OS what a "patch" means in computer terms what the blue screen of death means
I KNOW... (2) all about Jeanine Salla what increasing barometric pressure means how to count to 31 on one hand how to play 7+ games with regular deck(s) of cards how to roll-step and high-step in time what GURPS stands for my age in binary my Jedi name my Geek Code the relationship between Chainmail and D&D the names of 5+ Hobbits 5+ dwarves from The Hobbit 10+ Smurfs 2+ Dragonlance characters 5+ comic book writers 5+ Food TV hosts 5+ Star Trek characters from each generation the odd/even number rule of Star Trek movies that the new millennium started in 2001 what a THAC0 is extensive, useless trivia how to write 1999 in Roman numerals that the answer is 42 that I am a geek
BONUS ROUND I am a female geek (check all 5 boxes) My profession requires a certain level of geekiness Throughout my life, my level of geekiness has only increased I think this Geek Test is really cool I can think of other things that should get me points on this test
+ Geekish Tendencies................................≥09% ++ Geek.............................................≥15% +++ Total Geek......................................≥25% ++++ Major Geek.....................................≥35% +++++ Super Geek....................................≥45% ++++++ Extreme Geek.................................≥55% +++++++ Geek God....................................≥65% +++++++! Dysfunctional Geek.........................≥75%
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